Things I’ve learnt since being a mum #MothersDay #SundayBlogShare

How many UK mums woke up this morning to luke warm drinks and cold toast served up on a tray with a side of daffodils?  Happy Mother’s Day, Mummy!  No, my lot are beyond that – in fact only one of them is here and she had to be dragged out of her pit.  But we did have our 7 year old nephew staying and he was awake bright and early – Uncle Dunc’s job to play, watch Lego You tube videos and generally entertain.  So I was greeted with an enormous shout of “Happy Mother’s Day, but you’re my auntie” as I entered the kitchen.

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Being a Mum

I haven’t heard from either of the boys in person yet…they may just be emerging from their pits.  The student engineer went out with his boyfriend and his parents last night, and I did try to wangle an invite too but the thought of us turning up sent him a delicate shade of grey, tinged with an air of panic!  But….yesterday morning the doorbell went at some unearthly hour and a delivery arrived for me.  From the politics student…for Mother’s Day.  Wow!!! Very impressed with a lovely box of chocs – but what is with the note?!

Olly gift

All the talk of Mother’s Day on TV & radio this morning has got me thinking about some of the things I’ve learnt since being a mum….

  • Yes the love is unconditional and two way – until you find felt tip all over the walls, or the lovely 12 year old turns into a teen….hormones, smells, trainers, mouldy food, and you are “the worst mum in the world” – maybe a little doubt creeps in
  • There is no right way to do it – but there is your way (and believe me it will be different to everyone else’s!)
  • Parenting is bloody hard and no it doesn’t get easier….it just changes!  Some days you will long for the time that your offspring was portable and could be strapped in to a carrier, rather than this 6 foot something hulk looking down on you determined to do his own thing.
  • An appreciation for your own mum – I’m lucky as she is my biggest supporter, has my back and is my friend.  Hope I can say this about me and my girl too. 

  • Breastfeeding is not the most natural thing in the world for everyone.  Yes I did it people, but…..all 3 babes struggled to latch on (another design fault in my bodywork), I spent weeks walking round with cabbage leaves in my bra and got a fab dose of mastitis each time….twice with the lovely girl, was seen by every feeding counsellor under the sun and had a “let down” reflex that was so strong it even tuned in to passing lorries, leaving me with rivulets flowing down my shirt!!  And….I had enough milk to feed the entire post natal class,  I kid you not, even my midwife asked if I’d considered donating some (this was before the days of internet breast milk sales….can’t get my head round that).  Of course now I take full credit for their combined intelligence as being completely down to my super milk and my bloody mindedness (10 months for the boys, 6 for the girl)
  • Just because your gorgeous toddler eats everything, including his greens, doesn’t mean he will not turn into the fussy eater from hell!  And leaving him with the food in front of him or telling him you are not cooking anything else…well if he is strong willed and bloody minded (wonder where that comes from) he WILL go hungry! Even in his teens and twenties!
  • The playground can be even more competitive as a mum than as a child
  • You really can’t do it for them, no matter how hard you might try – be it walking, writing, revising, taking exams or joining the world of adults.
  • When this human you bore is hurt, physically or emotionally, it really can hurt you more than anything else – strange, but true!
  • They may only  call when they need something (money, a lift somewhere), but it is YOU that they call….
  • Kids are expensive – a whole post in its own right!
  • My reserves run so deep – be it patience, impatience, anger, frustration, love – and I can cope with so much more than I would ever have dreamt possible.  But I still feel like the same person I was at 22….

So I am raising a glass to all the Mums out there past, present and future….and to all of us kids, be we babes or grown ups, for being some Mum’s baby.

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How time flies….about 11 years ago!

 

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For EDS Awareness month from Sunshine & Spoons “What It’s Like To Be A Kid With Ehlers Danlos Syndrome” – including mine!

Another great post for Ehlers Danlos Awareness month, this time from Hannah at Sunshine and Spoons blog.  As a child growing up with aches and pains, dislocations, sprains, dizzy spells, clumsiness, migraines, circulation problems….it really was just how life was as no one even thought to join the dots, let alone consider a syndrome that might be responsible.  I never even heard the name “Ehlers Danlos” until my late 30s – although Marfans was mentioned to me aged 20.

I do know about EDS now and have made it my business to as so many with rare illnesses need to.  The result has been that I recognise my kids are growing up symptomatic – although getting a diagnosis is proving difficult as referrals are pushed from the desk of one consultant to another – and understanding that not everyone has pain daily, struggles to keep up with hand writing in class, is constantly twisting an ankle or popping a joint.  One son is living with severe migraines for which we seem to be in a constant loop of changing medication to bring some control as he is about to sit his A level exams.  His long neck gives him daily pain and undoubtedly contributes to his migraines.  My daughter, aged 14, has dislocations, daily joint pain, dizzy spells, writing problems…..the eldest, the student engineer aged 21, is hypermobile, has a sternal “deformity”, clumsiness, dizzy spells – sound familiar?? All three, whilst very bright, suffer massive anxiety to such an extent that over recent years we have visited CAMHS, Heads Together, use of anti depressants and mindfulness techniques.  I feel a whole post coming on…..being the age they are, mum has not been able to pin them down for a quote as I write this!!

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My younger 2 zebras and me!

So without further ado let me introduce some great children who have spoken to Hannah:

This post may be a little hard for you to read. I know I had tears in my eyes more than once while typing this up.

If you’ve been hanging around Sunshine and Spoons for very long, you know that at least 3 of my 4 kids have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, which they inherited from me. Davy (3) and Nano (7) don’t really understand it yet, but Katie (9) does. She goes back and forth between being proud of being a zebra to asking why God would make her have EDS and all of the pain that goes along with it.

Kids are supposed to be able to run and play. They shouldn’t have to deal with chronic pain and fatigue. They shouldn’t have to spend their childhoods at doctors’ offices, wearing braces and explaining random bruises.

But, that’s not how things always work. I interviewed 25 kids who have EDS to see what it’s really like to be a child or young person with the disorder. “

What it's like to be a kids with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome

 

For the remainder of the post and the children’s quotes please click on the following link

What It’s Like To be a Kid with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome

Kids’ Book Review from Raisie Bay – “The Goldfish Boy”

I found this lovely book review on “Raisie Bay My Blog, My Way” and I think that it follows on nicely from my last review covering autism.  This book is aimed at children aged 9 – 12 years old and included in the narrative is the serious anxiety related condition Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

I bought this book because the theme called out to me. I thought it would be a good read for my 11 and 9 yr old daughters.
There are always those kids at school that behave a little differently and are hard to be friends with. Maybe they are bullies, or maybe they are just too unlike anyone else. Maybe they are just like the main characters in this book.

The Goldfish Boy is a story about Matthew, a twelve year old boy stuck in his bedroom because of debilitating OCD. But what is OCD and why does Matthew have it? ……

Please read the full review here: Review: The Goldfish Boy by Lisa Thompson

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